Do you have that feeling too? or is it just me?

when i was 15,16 everyone used to tell me that why you always have smile on your face and i said its good to be happy, but lately i even can't smile no more, i'm 19 and everything is so not what i expected to be, i feel lost and broken. i don't know did i try to grow too fast or what? feel like something missing inside and out. reality is like a dream and dreams are my reality, why? why i feel this way? i'm afraid to lose my friends, but its not what i want. well i'm gonna tell you about myself more if u have time read to just know how i am and i'm not someone who never could do anything. i have been doing martial art for 9 years, can speak 2 languages, i like to learn everthing that i can, computer, cars, gun, martial arts,pretty much everything. in my whole life i had only 1 girl friend that that cheated on me and was dating another guy at the same time, and you know how much that hurt and i had lot of feelings for her so after her i was afraid to get hurt again. however since i was 11 i was talkin about big stuff that were too much for someone like my age to talk about, like ufo, galaxies,... when i was 14 i read book of stephen hawking and you know what my parents told me when they saw me reading these kind of books? son do your homework! why you wanna lear martial arts? i never asked for a xbox or playstaion but a telescope! but guess what they said? y u wanna telescope for? so i got computer. so no one ever understood me as my age where all my other friends were talkin about games, girls(well i like to talk about girls 2! but not all day). well except that part of my life i have feeling 2 and they are more than just feeling. all my friend tells me that i look good and can get girls easily but i'm not a player, and i always try to dress as best as i can. but i never been good with girls don't no y, every girl i liked seemed like to not like me, but inside i will do anything for her if she just knew, this is just one part of the things on my mind. when i was 15 me and my friend start to write fiction and i did pretty good job i wrote 300 pages in about 2 months but then at 16 i had to move to usa( long story) well i moved and i didn't finish my last year in high school( i took summer school cles so i was done with high school at the age of 16 if i could p) so i had to start everything again, now imagine new life new language new friends and the worst part not enough money, well here i am 19 and no job, didn't countinue writing my fiction, almost quiet study and reading books, got telescope with my own money and don't feel to use it no more no girl but a heart that need to love and be loved, and all these crazy questions on my mind with no answers and parents that all they do is to make the situation worse than it is, tryin to leave the house but where 2? not even finish high school yet. however my friend published 2 of his books going to collage, got a gold medal in kick boxing. and he calls me from 8000 miles away and is telling me he is not happy with his life?! and i still say life is good. i told you everything i could that is going trough my mind and they killing me, what should i do? tell me i'm not the only one with these feeling and emotions. and one of the things that piss me off is when people tell me you have a life time to do what ever you want, well bullsh*t how can i go with my friends and do the stupid stuff that we do when i'm 60 or... idk. i feel like i can't trust no one no more, feel so lonely broken and i can't belive its happening to me, i mean i thought i'm smart, i thought i'm something. i never though i get to this point to come on yahoo and tell this. but idk we are all human rite? however i have a lot to say that i can't say in here. yeah well tnx for reading this long thing pls comment and tell me wat u thing i know its sound pretty fu*ked up. and pls no preaching i'm not a religious person.