Ok this is a real rap i wrote no freestyling (keystyling)?

Ok the thing with hip hop is that the mainstream artist out have washed it up. People don't like being lied to, so artist like Lil Wayne have to keep up this persona of being completely hood and gangsta in order to make people believe he'll actually shoot some **** up. All in all, with that being said, the best advice I can give you is to keep it real because most people can spot a phony and when that happens they don't want to listen. Your rap was too generic, it was something typical of a wannabe gangta rapper. Honestly if you just be honest you won't have the problem of sounding to cliche.